Stillness and Speed by Dennis Bergkamp

Author:Dennis Bergkamp [Bergkamp, Dennis]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster

11

THE JOKER

IT IS LUNCHTIME at a pub in Kensal Rise and Ian Wright has begun to sing in Dutch. Quite loudly.

‘IT WAS in a discotheeeeekk! Zat ik VAN DE WEEEEEEKKKK!!! En ik VOELDE mij daar zooooooo AARRLLEEEEEEEEN!!!!’

No one even looks up. Impersonating André Hazes, the sentimental, diminutive, melancholy, alcoholic, late Dutch crooner probably happens all the time in Kensal Rise.

How do you know that song, Ian?

‘Cos of Dennis! Or rather, Glenn Helder and Dennis. Glenn taught it to me and when I sang it to Dennis he nearly died. AND IT WAS warm en dreeeeee-EUUKKK! Ik zat eeen LEVEN CROOOOOK!!’

You’ve caught its emotional overkill perfectly .

‘Yeah, I’m not bad like that. So then Dennis is on at me: “You’ve got to sing that on Dutch TV!” “No, I’m not going to do that.” “You have to do it! They’ll love it. They’ll love you!” He’s egging me on. So after that game at Leeds, that’s what I did. I sang André Hazes on Dutch telly.’

Is there a video?

‘There most probably is a video.’

IAN WRIGHT AND Dennis Bergkamp were not only a football act but also a comedy duo. As on the pitch, Dennis was the instigator, the ideas man lurking behind, setting up Wright for glory or, in this case, laughs.

Wright: ‘People don’t know that side of Dennis, but he was really a mischievous joker. I love that! I love that about him because it is a side I will be able to remember forever, but other people won’t see it. All other people see when they look at Dennis Bergkamp is just pure genius. But I saw the man and I knew the man and feel very honoured. So you don’t see that side of him, but he is really . funny!’

Martin Keown was often on the receiving end of your pranks .

‘We used to get a lot of fun at Martin’s expense. We all did!’

Why pick on Martin?

‘Cos he’s so fucking intense! G rrrrrrr rr!! Know what I mean? He was sooooo intense! I remember when Dennis said to me to dress up in Martin’s clothes. He tries so hard, but his clothes are so . rubbish! Poor design and really very bland, rubbish clothes!’

Keown confirms: ‘Dennis was all for having plenty of fun. He may have been seen as serious, because he was very exact in his performance. But off the pitch we would be laughing and joking all the way from game to game and then the same in the dressing room. Then it was like: “Let’s focus now and win this one.” It was a nice balance.’

I hear he didn’t approve of your fashion sense.

‘Ha ha! Yes, Dennis was, shall we say, the clothes manager. If you came in and what you were wearing wasn’t to his liking then he would be hanging it up twenty foot in the air somewhere and you’d have to go and get step ladders and all sorts to go and reach it. I’d be furious: “Fucking Bergkamp, he’s done it again!” But it was just part of the banter.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.